Minding your manners: How to be a better colleague
Every office has one: the colleague you quietly schedule your lunch and coffee breaks around just to avoid them. Yep, the people we work with can completely change how we feel about coming into the office, from looking forward to it to counting down the minutes until we leave.
But what exactly makes some colleagues a joy to be around, and others… not so much? And how can we make sure we’re showing up as the kind of colleague people want to work with?
Aside from the obvious basics — be ethical, be polite, be punctual, be honest, be respectful, avoid gossip — there are a few habits worth keeping in check so you don’t accidentally become “that” colleague.
Be cheery – but not too cheery
The old saying “a smile is infectious” is surprisingly true. A quick smile or a friendly hello is an easy way to lift someone’s mood and show that you:
a) notice them, and
b) are happy to take a moment for them.
That said, there is a balance. Being over-the-top bubbly — especially when someone’s clearly having a tough day — can come across as clueless or irritating. On the flip side, never smiling can make you seem unapproachable, which is a fast track to being avoided.
Master small talk
Whether it’s around the water cooler, in the break room or at your desk, a little small talk helps break up the day and builds comfort and connection with your colleagues.
But small talk isn’t the time to unload your personal dramas. Keep things light — music, movies, travel, exercise, pets, hobbies, food, weekend plans… all safe and easy options.
Listen and learn
Small gestures can make a big difference. Simply listening shows your colleagues you respect their thoughts. It also signals that you’re empathetic and someone they could turn to if they ever need support.
Aim for a balance: listen as much as you talk. No one likes being cut off mid-sentence, but no one wants to feel like they’re talking to a brick wall either. Find the sweet spot in the middle.
Compliment others and give credit where credit’s due
Whether it’s their latest piece of work or something they’re wearing, there are plenty of opportunities to offer a genuine compliment, and if it’s sincere, it’ll always be appreciated. Just don’t overdo it, or it risks sounding insincere or strategic.
And while we’re talking sincerity, giving credit is one of the easiest ways to lift morale. Whether someone did a great job on a project or you’ve been mistakenly praised for someone else’s work, make sure the right people get the recognition they deserve.
Be ethical and diplomatic
You can’t always know your colleagues’ personal connections or experiences, so be mindful when sharing your opinions. For all you know, they could have a partner, friend or family member affected by whatever you’re discussing — and your comments could unintentionally cause stress or offence.
A good rule of thumb? Imagine you’re talking to your boss or your in-laws. If you’d hesitate to say it to them, rethink it.
Avoid gossip
As tempting as it can be, gossip, even light-hearted gossip, is risky territory. It’s best avoided altogether, or gently shut down when it pops up.
Whether you meant it seriously or not, word tends to get back to the person you talked about. Not only does this create tension in the workplace, but it also damages your reputation and makes people less likely to trust you.
Show restraint
This one applies broadly. Whether it’s going easy on the cologne or choosing not to share every detail of the awful thing that happened to you that morning, showing restraint is really just another form of respect.
Think about the people around you and whether your enthusiasm (or oversharing) might disrupt the atmosphere or make others uncomfortable. If the answer is yes, it’s probably time to dial it back.