Minding your manners

Every office has one: the colleague you expediently time your lunch and coffee breaks to avoid. 

Yep, who we work with can make all the difference between looking forward to stepping into the office and counting down the minutes until we leave. 

But what exactly is it about colleagues that makes them more enjoyable, or less tolerable? And how can we ensure that we are being the best colleagues we can be? 

Aside from the obvious etiquette – be ethical, be polite, be punctual, be honest, be respectful, avoid gossip – there are some behaviours that you can keep in check to ensure you aren’t becoming that colleague.

Be cheery – but not too cheery 

The axiom “a smile is infectious, you catch it like the flu” is no myth. A passing smile and a cheery salutation are an effortless way to put colleagues in good moods and show them that you: a) recognise their existence and b) are happy to make time for them. 

There is a line, though – being too bubbly, especially when it means failing to notice that someone is having a bad day, can be interpreted as annoying and/or ignorant. On the other hand, not smiling at all deems you somewhat unapproachable and is a guaranteed way to make people avoid (and quite possibly dislike) you. 

Master small talk 

Whether at the water cooler, in the break room or at your desk, intervals of small talk break up the day and make colleagues feel more comfortable around one another. 

Small talk is not the time to dribble on about your personal problems outside the office, however. Keep topics light and non-invasive – think music, movies, travel, exercise, pets, hobbies, cuisine, weekend plans etc. 

Listen and learn

Small gestures can have big impact. Simply listening is validation that you respect your colleagues’ opinions. Listening also indicates that you have an empathetic ear that can be of great support should anyone need it. 

Try to keep the ‘hear and be heard’ balance even (that is, doing as much listening as you do speaking). No one likes to be interrupted mid-sentence, but then again, no one likes to feel like they’re talking to a wall either. Set up camp in the middle ground.  

Compliment others and give credit where credit’s due 

Whether it’s their latest project or something they’re wearing, there are many ways to compliment a colleague – and as long as it’s sincere, it will be appreciated. Be sure not to overdo it or you’ll risk being seen as a greaser whose compliments aren’t genuine, but rather agenda-setting.

While we’re on the topic of being sincere, giving credit is an easy way to boost morale. Whether it’s for an assignment a colleague just completed or the fact your boss has mistakenly praised you for your colleague’s work, be the one to give credit where credit’s due. 

Be ethical and diplomatic 

You can’t be completely sure of what your colleagues’ opinions are on every single matter, so be tactful when voicing yours. For all you know, they might have a relative, friend or partner who is subject to whatever you’re discussing, and your opinion on the matter could be causing offence or stress, not to mention creating an air of awkwardness. An easy way to check yourself before you wreck yourself is to imagine you are talking to your boss or parent-in-law, or the like. 

Avoid gossip 

As tempting as it is, and as easy as it can be to fall into, conversations regarding gossip, negative or facetious opinions of others are dangerous territory and should undoubtedly be avoided, or stopped in their tracks when they surface. 

Whether you were being serious or not, your conversation is likely to make its way back to the person it concerned. As well as causing animosity in the workplace, this reflects poorly upon you – and results in people not wanting to open up to you for fear of being teased behind closed doors. 

Show restraint 

This one’s wide-reaching. Whether it’s the amount of cologne you spray each morning or the decision not to divulge every detail about the horrible thing that just happened to you, showing restraint is synonymous with showing respect. Consider those around you and whether your zealous antics will upset the peace and/or shift the dynamics for the worse – if the answer is yes, then rein it in.